Tag Archives: friends

What is a home?

Yesterday was a long day in a train.  Speed train, recently delivered Pendolino. Comfortable trip from the North to the South of Poland. Within 8 hours instead of 13 just few months ago. I was coming home.  Raciborz, my first home till I was 19 years old. Then it changed into Wroclaw for another 13 years to continue with Gdansk for the recent 6… Between each home certainly there was a period of a blurred limbo when neither the new one nor the old one where my real homes.

What defines a home? When this particular feeling starts to grow and develop in your heart or mind or both? Is it when you make your first friend in the new place or is it just the first fire at the chimney? Is it the unpacking of your books on new shelves or baking first apple pie in the new oven?

I was desperately looking forward to leave Raciborz and start new life in Wroclaw. I left my first home with a bunch of high school friends making the landing as soft as possible. So it was soft, indeed. In the warm arms of the biggest city on Odra river, Silesian capital city, I felt home when after my first year two of my best friends came to the city to live and continue their studies and I had the chance to show them what I already loved there, all the cheap beer bars, great dance floors, open till mornings afterparty dives and evergreen parks and river islands…

After 13 years, when the date of move to Gdansk was getting closer I started my farewell through never ending friend night talks, old city wanderings, river bench cigarettes, one farewell party after another and in the meantime finishing first sketches of my first novel, impatiently waiting for the trip to Gdansk and already mourning the last day in Wroclaw…

Gdansk became home of course much quicker than within a year. When you fall into sleep next to your beloved one, your heart even if full of uncertainty already feels like home and that first drunk night with your new friends, when you leave the bar and go to the beach to listen how the birds welcome the sunrise…

Fluent borders of feeling like home, winding between old and new, filling the new with hope and promise, and leaving the old with gratitude and love.

and you know what? The best thing of all is that all these homes remain your homes for ever. So am I now back at the first one, planning to see the second for the end of this week. See you there! 🙂

Why tricenarian couples spend the evenings at home?

Again, the weekend has arrived and nobody’s calling, nobody’s texting…

Seems like everybody’s staying home. Why? We are only thirty-something years old! OK, some of us over forty! So what is happening?

The cause can not be called a cold evening, with 15 degrees now at the end of October in Northern Poland. Weather just can’t be better!

We have started the day slowly with a late breakfast, then read some last week newspapers and after few hours of house works we left to the city for noodles at the Vietnamese bar. Later on a quick tea and cake by a friend with two teenage daughters (who played MineCraft all the time devouring the cake at the same time). Came back home for dinner and TV. So X-Factor takes over and we decide to spend the evening at home. “Call Magda and tell her we staying at home, tired…” So I did and texted her on Facebook “Sorry, we stay at home.”

Week after week, similar stories occur, if not in our house then at our friend’s. Why is this happening? Where are those times when only a shout outside the window, or even a stone crack against the window called us to the wild city night…

People living outside the city have their cars and with their cars and only one bus per 40 minutes, they decide to drive for a drink or two with their friends, so they stay at home. Why? Cause nobody wants to stay sober…Its better to stay at home that argue again who should drive back. So many decisions need to be taken, let’s play Netflix, Cineplex, whatever… It can be even youtube stuff.

Our closest friends live 10 min driving from our house, the farthest 21 hours 38 mins, which makes them obviously hard to get them here every weekend, though we meet regularly every year, during Easter time, with no exceptions for the last 15 years… With those 10 min-away-drive friends its difficult even to drop in in the middle of the evening, crack their windows with gravel and get them out of their house. We try phone calls, since sms’s don’t work anymore, but they already have plans for birthdays, unexpected family visitors or garden work throughout the weekend. How to call this terrible mechanism, laziness? decay? impossibility?

Listen to me, if you love to spend your evenings with people, in the city, with a glass of beer, wine, coffee, whatever, then never-ever move out from the city! Keep as close as possible and do not believe those messiahs of the real estate development plans for a never ending happiness, peace and tranquility and fresh air in suburbs. There you will find yourself caught in a golden cage. Especially if there is no bus or train leaving to the city center every 10 min with a bus stop only 5 mins walk from your doorsteps. Sorry to disappoint you.